The book is a humorous memoir about what happened when my wife, Arlene, and I, well into our fifties and facing the loss of both our jobs at about the same time, decided to drop out, sell everything (well, almost everything), and move to the middle of Mexico, where we didn’t know a soul and could barely speak the language.
Appropriately enough—as well as sad to say—the title of my book is Nobody Knows the Spanish I Speak.
In our fish-out-of-water story, we don’t get car-jacked, kidnapped, mistakenly shot at, or ripped off by a shady contractor hoping to live in Panama on our life savings. But we do have plenty of mishaps, make some dreadful mistakes, get in and out of trouble, and learn a thing or two about life and each other.
Even though the book reenacts no homicides or rescue attempts, my story covers plenty of interesting ground, landscaped with prickly pear cactus, scorpions, mammoth speed bumps, and lung-choking dust. Get the inside story on yoga, disco, firecrackers, car repair, and survival on the highway in Mexico. And don’t forget to enjoy my silly cartoons and Arlene’s killer recipe for guacamole.
Before I forget, I should mention two other brave travelers who participated, albeit unwillingly, in our adventure. Cassie, a black female standard poodle, a girlie-girl who always stood—never sat—in the car and who ran side-saddle. Our cat, Sadie, nicknamed Scratchie or the Devil Cat, a part-Siamese who believed her reach should never exceed her claws. Oddsmakers had the cat down as the one most likely to survive.
For those who don’t know or who know but are trying to forget, the title phrase for my blog this week was made famous by the fictional spiritual leader of MAD Magazine, Alfred E. Neuman. The short answer to his question is, well, yes, I do worry. I’m what’s known in the self-improvement trade as a worry wart–as you’ll learn, if you read my blogs or, better still, buy my book.
What if nobody buys it? Hmm. Now I have something else to worry about.
Questions, suggestions, objections? Feel free to contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org