What, Me Worry?

19 Aug

My name is Mark Saunders and I’ve written a book.  FUZE Publishing, against the advice of several economists and a butcher, agreed to publish it, and it’s scheduled to be released this October. 

The book is a humorous memoir about what happened when my wife, Arlene, and I, well into our fifties and facing the loss of both our jobs at about the same time, decided to drop out, sell everything (well, almost everything), and move to the middle of Mexico, where we didn’t know a soul and could barely speak the language. 

Appropriately enough—as well as sad to say—the title of my book is Nobody Knows the Spanish I Speak

In our fish-out-of-water story, we don’t get car-jacked, kidnapped, mistakenly shot at, or ripped off by a shady contractor hoping to live in Panama on our life savings.  But we do have plenty of mishaps, make some dreadful mistakes, get in and out of trouble, and learn a thing or two about life and each other.

Even though the book reenacts no homicides or rescue attempts, my story covers plenty of interesting ground, landscaped with prickly pear cactus, scorpions, mammoth speed bumps, and lung-choking dust. Get the inside story on yoga, disco, firecrackers, car repair, and survival on the highway in Mexico.  And don’t forget to enjoy my silly cartoons and Arlene’s killer recipe for guacamole.

Before I forget, I should mention two other brave travelers who participated, albeit unwillingly, in our adventure.  Cassie, a black female standard poodle, a girlie-girl who always stood—never sat—in the car and who ran side-saddle.  Our cat, Sadie, nicknamed Scratchie or the Devil Cat, a part-Siamese who believed her reach should never exceed her claws.  Oddsmakers had the cat down as the one most likely to survive.

For those who don’t know or who know but are trying to forget, the title phrase for my blog this week was made famous by the fictional spiritual leader of MAD Magazine, Alfred E. Neuman.  The short answer to his question is, well, yes, I do worry.  I’m what’s known in the self-improvement trade as a worry wart–as you’ll learn, if you read my blogs or, better still, buy my book. 

What if nobody buys it?  Hmm.  Now I have something else to worry about.

Questions, suggestions, objections?  Feel free to contact me at:


Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “What, Me Worry?

  1. Judith Hirsch

    September 8, 2011 at 7:11 am

    Don’t worry, I’ll buy your book. If it’s anything like your blog it should be pretty funny. You write in such a relaxed manner, I am amazed. I have to work so hard at writing, re-writing and re-writing some more, I sometimes wonder why I do it.

  2. FUZE Publishing

    September 22, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    Hola Judith,
    Sorry for not responding sooner. I just noticed your comment. And thanks for the compliment!

    My writing style might appear relaxed, but I’m a big believer in rewriting. In fact, I truly enjoy the rewriting part. Fortunately, I also enjoy the crazy first draft part, as well. I used to bleed and sneeze over every word. Now I try to get my first draft out as rapidly as possible, knowing that most of it will change in the rewrite process.

    As a side note, James Thurber’s wife was an editor at The New Yorker (at least that’s my recollection, but I could be wrong). She read one of his early drafts and said something to the effect of, “My God, Thurber, this is high school stuff.” He was known to rewrite his essays and stories many times.

    Have you read Anne Lamott’s essay “Shitty First Drafts” in her book Bird by Bird? It’s liberating. I guess what I’m saying is reworking, redoing, and recrafting words is a good thing. Enjoy it.

    My book will be out in a couple of weeks. I hope you’ll buy it, as well as mention it to your friends.
    Onward and upward, sideways and sideways,

    • Judith Hirsch

      September 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm

      Thanx for your reply. Yep, I’ve read lots of Anne Lamott. Love her! Well, I just ordered your book with the funny cover. Congratulations and good luck with it. I can’t wait to read it.


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